I’m the Only One of My Friends Still “Single”
Everyone I know is either married or in a relationship that will lead to marriage. I feel pressure to find a relationship, but I am striking out. It’s hard to be comfortable with my status.
When the wedding invitations start piling up, it can feel like you’re the only one left who hasn’t found a partner for life. Add to that the images of happy couples and newlyweds populating your social media feed, and you might be asking yourself: Will I ever find love that lasts?
- It’s OK to strike out. Dating can be an exercise in frustration, but it can also reveal more clearly what you want (or don’t!) in a partner. So go ahead and date, even if that person isn’t “Mr. or Mrs. Right,” being careful to be honest with that person and yourself if you don’t see a future in the relationship.
- Embrace your single status, for better and for worse. Treat yourself to a nice dinner, a weekend with friends and opportunities to follow your interests. Identify what’s making you uncomfortable, whether loneliness or fears about the future, and bring it to God in prayer.
- Try something new, like joining a club, participating in a young-adult group at your parish or taking a class. Whether or not you meet someone special, you’re bound to develop new friendships.
It can be hard to be patient and trust that the right person will come along, but like so many other things, marriage often happens on “God’s time” and not ours. When anxiety creeps in, I often come back to this verse from Matthew’s Gospel: “Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not more important than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?” (6:26-27)