Longtime parishioner Amy was at Sunday Mass not only with her family, but also with a friend. After Mass, she came to me and said, “This is my friend and coworker, Marilou, and this is her first time here.” Marilou and I shook hands, and I welcomed her to the parish.

Anytime can be a good time to invite someone to church with you. And yet, there are moments when people long for a deeper spiritual meaning, and an invitation makes obvious sense. Such moments include times of grief or sadness, a setback or challenge, and even a general sense of emptiness. Often all they need is a friendly invitation from someone they trust, such as a friend, relative, or co-worker—someone like you.

We sometimes hesitate to invite others to church, so here are some tips for inviting someone to church anytime of the year:

Tip 1: Ask yourself what you most appreciate about being at Mass. For example, perhaps your priest or deacon always has a message that speaks to you, the music speaks to your heart, or the faith of everyone strengthens your faith in Jesus. You can then share this one insight with whomever you invite to go with you on Sunday.

Tip 2: Pray for the person you want to invite and for the grace to invite them. 

Tip 3: Keep your invitation utterly simple. Say: “Would you like to come to church on Sunday with me?” The most important words in that invitation are “with me.” The thought of entering a church alone intimidates people. If they were not raised Catholic, they will not know what to do and may fear looking embarrassed. They will feel much better if they go with a friend they trust. Again: “Would you like to come to church with me?” (It might help to offer to pick them up. Keep in mind that it is intimidating to walk into a new Church alone. Remember that the invitation is to go with you and not to go alone.)

Tip 4: Include an invitation to go for coffee or lunch afterward. If it is an evening Mass, invite them to your place for dinner. Most people unaccustomed to the liturgy may have questions about what they saw and experienced.  Giving them space afterwards to ask any questions may be helpful in encouraging them to return a second time and perhaps more often.

Tip 5: Many people are unfamiliar with Catholic words like “Mass” or “Eucharist,” and unfamiliar language can make them feel like outsiders. So simply invite them “to church” a phrase everyone understands.

If someone says, “No,” do not take it personally; they might not be ready. Simply let them know your invitation remains open.  On the other hand, if they accept, affirm their acceptance of your invitation. People may also naturally feel timid or awkward after they say yes. You can help lessen that awkwardness with a brief affirmation and by sharing a personal insight about your parish. Consider saying things along the lines of: “Great. I always enjoy our choir and will enjoy having you with me.” Or: “I’m always comforted by the prayer and am sure you will be, too.” Your affirmation will stay with them as a counter to their timidity.

And what became of Marilou? She came to talk with me and became a regular on Sundays. We celebrated her Confirmation and her marriage as a Sacrament.

And every time that happens, I’m brought back to the feeling I described at the beginning—the quiet joy of meeting someone new on Sunday and the grace of hearing a parishioner say, “Father, I’d like you to meet someone.” That simple introduction can become the first step of a new life in Christ. You never know whose heart is waiting for your invitation.